11 years...

11 years ago (Feb 13, 2001) my dad passed away. I was 14 and in the 8th grade. I remember that day and the days following like it was yesterday.  A boy I had a crush on (Brad) asked me out that morning and I was super excited! Around mid morning the office called me and my younger brother into the office and said our mom was picking us up. We waiting for what seemed like HOURS and our neighbor picked us up. I knew something was wrong, but thought it was our grandma. When we got home my mom told us our dad had passed away early that morning. I remember my knees buckling and I just collapsed on the kitchen floor. I dont remember crying then...I remember feeling numb and shocked. I went into the living room to watch TV and on of my favorite movies was on (My Girl). My mom suggested it wasnt the best movie to watch, but for some reason it was comforting to me. My youngest brother was still in elementary school, my mom waited until he got home from school to tell him. The days following were a blur of running around getting things ready to go to Chicago for the funeral. That first night we all slept in the living room. I would also lock myself in the bathroom and SCREAM at God and question why. My dad was my best friend, why him. I still don't know but its not our place to know. He has a plan for all of us.

My dad passed away on a business trip in Texas. Which is oddly comforting that it was not in our house. It was completly natural, in his sleep. He had heart problems his whole life, born with a messed up valve. Had it replaced when I was 4 with a pig valve (I loved laying on his chest and listening to it). When I was 13 (Nov 2000) he had to have it replaced (you have to every 10 years). While in surgery they found an aneurism and did a triple by pass. His heart just couldnt take it anymore and he passed away in his sleep.

It still sucks so much to think about. Especially since my brothers were never that close with him and dont remember much because they were so young. It still stings, but its ok. God has a plan for all of us.

Happy Belated Fathers Day

I know I am a day late...Fathers Day was yesterday, but I was busy. I want to say Happy Fathers day to all the fathers out there, especially the two of mine.

Sadly, one is in heaven. My dad passed away very suddenly when I was 14. I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I miss him more and more each day, especially with my wedding coming up. I am not good w/ emotions in front of people so I don't talk about him in detail much.

Fast forward to me being 15/16ish and my mom meeting who at first I thought was the worst person on the planet because well he wasn't my dad. Now he is one of my best friends. My stepdadish (they are not married) Bob has been such an amazing gift to our family. First, he puts up with my mom and took on 3 kids as his own (he has no biological children of his own). There were many times he could of said I am done with this crap, but he didn't (why, I have no idea). He has stayed by my moms side for almost 10 years now and has proved he is not going anywhere.

I also want to wish Michael Happy Fathers day from our fur babies. Just because they are not human doesnt mean he isnt a dad to them. Go ahead, laugh...my mom does. One day (not anytime soon FYI) I cannot wait to wish him a Happy Fathers Day from our human baby.

30 Day Photo Challege: Day 5

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Some of my favorite memories go along with my dad. I have mentioned before, he passed away when I was 14 and I was a big daddies girl growing up. My dad and I had a couple special traditions. In this photo we were getting ready to go to The Nutcracker. We would dress up, he would get me a corsage and we would go see The Nutcracker when I was little.  Funny part is I later found out in life that my dad and I always left during intermission. Another tradition we had was running saturday errands together. We would always get lunch and it was a fun and special time for us to just hang out. 

I am very lucky to have a WONDERFUL stepdad that makes my mom very happy and I am thrilled he will be walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. But man do I miss my dad!