So What Wednesday!

I am linking up w/ Shannon and saying So What to...

1. I am thinking of switching docs, but I dont wanna start this stupid process all over again.
2. I have no more patience w/ doctors and ttc
3. I had a meltdown yesterday about how tough ttc is
4. ttc consumes my mind!
5. I listen to Dave Ramsey every afternoon but do not believe in his principles 100%
6. I like to look at my wedding photos
7. When TTC stresses me out I turn to BabyCenter.com 
8. I LOVE reading the blogs I follow
9. I am really over the whole going to class thing...can we fast forward 2 years

So What Wednesday!

I am linking up w/ Shannon for SWW!

So what if...

• Watching the presidential debate only made me annoyed about the candidates and made me not want to vote for either. 
• I am excited to actually start my period next week
• my dogs are spoiled and sleep in the same bed as us
• I wish I could fast forward two weeks
• I would be SUPER bummed if the Braves traded Uggla - i love Uggla!
• I really dont like going to class, but can't wait to be a teacher
• I have a little click in my co hort program and we work well together and dont wanna work with about half of the others

October 15

I know...I am a day late. I didn't even really know what yesterday was. But yesterday (October 15) was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Back in October I suffered an early miscarriage. While it was heartbreaking I know women who have been through so much worse then me. I pray everyday that was my one and only miscarriage. But only God knows that and I have to stop trying to control it.

Fab Friday

I have decided to link up w/ Laura for Fab Friday!

Here are the fab things going on this week:

• Michael and I celebrated one year of marriage on Tuesday Oct. 9th. We enjoyed a nice dinner out and well that was about it. He did get me a new charm for my Pandora bracelet.
• We are going to Pigeon Forge this weekend for our anniversary. We got a cabin and are looking forward to a couple days of doing NOTHING. No work, no school (I am in between classes), hopefully no phone calls. We do not have to be anywhere at any specific time. We can do whatever we want!
• I think I got B's in both my classes - maybe an A in one instead of a B
• My parents are getting the itch to buy a mountain/lake house again. My stepdad had one for a long time, but after it was broken into he decided to sell it to some developers. That was before the bug bust. 
• I am excited for our weekend trips to Savannah and New York coming up! 

Our current roadblock

As I mentioned in August I had a miscarriage/chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks. I was heartbroken and so angry (still am if i think about it). We went and saw a different doctor in the practice (a female doc this time who was new and young). She recommended I take Sept off to let my body rest and to focus on loosing 10 lbs. Just loosing 10 lbs could help significantly with sustaining a pregnancy. I am finding out loosing weight is SUPER hard with PCOS. I have tried to cut out sugar and carbs and stick to 1800 calories a day. I was doing good and lost about 7 lbs right away, but then stopped. Uhh..super frustrating.  I need to get better at working out, I know....I am seeing the nutritionist on Tuesday. I was really looking forward to the weight loss that is suppose to come with being on Metformin, but instead I have gained weight thanks to all the meds. SUPER annoying!

So we took off the month of Sept from TTC. I did not ovulate on my own so around the end of the month I called for a RX for Provera since I was almost at the 10 lbs mark. Once this new cycle started I went in for my routine cycle day 3 ultrasound. They check lining, check for cysts, and hormone levels. And of course wouldn't you know - I have a large cyst on my left ovary. I wanted to punch the Nurse Practitioner in the face! I already had to wait out one month - now I have to wait yet ANOTHER month! FYI you cannot take fertility meds while you have a cyst. It wont work properly and you risk the cyst rupturing. This whole process has been SUPER frustrating. So we are now taking the month of October off, I am on birth control pills to make the cyst go away and we will try again at the end of the month. I did some calculations and if everything goes as planned next cycle (fingers crossed) and I get pregnant I will be due end of July and we can tell our families around Christmas time (We are waiting for around 8 weeks to tell parents next time).

We are shooting for a summer baby since I am currently in school and have the summer off. It would be a little easier, but I wont put TTC on hold if it doesnt happen. And we all know how well my plans go :)

So until the end of the month I am taking it easier and back to focusing on loosing weight. I am curious about what the nutritionist has to say.

Best Christmas ever!

This year is going to be the best Christmas ever! Michael surprised me yesterday w/ an early Christmas/anniversary present - we are going to New York City the weekend before Christmas! I have ALWAYS wanted to go up there around Christmas time. We usually go to Pa in January, but its too late to sneak up to New York. I am already planning the cheesy stuff like seeing the tree, ice skating in Central Park, and checking out the window displays. New York is one of my favorite cities in the world. I am still kicking myself for not going after an internship at a PR firm up there (I had just gotten a full time job offer down here.) I would move up there in a heart beat if one of us got a job there.

I am SUPER excited!!

First RE Visit

In my earlier post I talked about our infertility struggle. You will see me refer to my doctor as an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) aka fertility doc. At the end of May Michael and I went to see one at one of the larger practices near where we live. The doc wasn't the most personable, but he doesnt have to be. During our first visit he asked us some questions and looked over all my records (other doc sent all testing and everything) and told me I have PCOS which basically means I do not ovulate due to insulin and blood sugar being off. The best way to combat this is to start taking Metformin and try to loose some weight. (I am not crazy over weight, but I am at my heaviest - 5'3 175lbs). So he recommended taking the month of June off from all the fertility meds and let my body adjust to the Metformin (nasty med!) and maybe my body would respond and start ovulating on my own (I have given up on this notion). So I did as told, even though I wasn't a happy camper.

If you have never been on Metformin let me tell you I hope you never have to. Its strong stuff and is not gentle on your stomach. It took my body a good 3 weeks to adjust to the meds. I still get upset stomachs and feel sick if I eat to much sugar or carbs or anything greasy. I am on two 750 extended release mg...whew! I have been on this med since the end of May, but have yet to ovulate on my own

Which sucks major big time....bc in case you didn't know you cannot get pregnant with out ovulating. All tests show my eggs are good quality and his sperm is normal, but my body just does not want to let go of those eggs.