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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

So What Wednesday!

So What Wednesday



I am linking up w/ Shannon and saying So What to...

  1. I am thinking of switching docs, but I dont wanna start this stupid process all over again.
  2. I have no more patience w/ doctors and ttc
  3. I had a meltdown yesterday about how tough ttc is
  4. ttc consumes my mind!
  5. I listen to Dave Ramsey every afternoon but do not believe in his principles 100%
  6. I like to look at my wedding photos
  7. When TTC stresses me out I turn to BabyCenter.com 
  8. I LOVE reading the blogs I follow
  9. I am really over the whole going to class thing...can we fast forward 2 years

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

So What Wednesday!

Life After I Dew

I am linking up w/ Shannon for SWW!

So what if...
  • Watching the presidential debate only made me annoyed about the candidates and made me not want to vote for either. 
  • I am excited to actually start my period next week
  • my dogs are spoiled and sleep in the same bed as us
  • I wish I could fast forward two weeks
  • I would be SUPER bummed if the Braves traded Uggla - i love Uggla!
  • I really dont like going to class, but can't wait to be a teacher
  • I have a little click in my co hort program and we work well together and dont wanna work with about half of the others

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

October 15



I know...I am a day late. I didn't even really know what yesterday was. But yesterday (October 15) was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Back in October I suffered an early miscarriage. While it was heartbreaking I know women who have been through so much worse then me. I pray everyday that was my one and only miscarriage. But only God knows that and I have to stop trying to control it.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Fab Friday


I have decided to link up w/ Laura for Fab Friday!

Here are the fab things going on this week:
  • Michael and I celebrated one year of marriage on Tuesday Oct. 9th. We enjoyed a nice dinner out and well that was about it. He did get me a new charm for my Pandora bracelet.
  • We are going to Pigeon Forge this weekend for our anniversary. We got a cabin and are looking forward to a couple days of doing NOTHING. No work, no school (I am in between classes), hopefully no phone calls. We do not have to be anywhere at any specific time. We can do whatever we want!
  • I think I got B's in both my classes - maybe an A in one instead of a B
  • My parents are getting the itch to buy a mountain/lake house again. My stepdad had one for a long time, but after it was broken into he decided to sell it to some developers. That was before the bug bust. 
  • I am excited for our weekend trips to Savannah and New York coming up! 

Our current roadblock

As I mentioned in August I had a miscarriage/chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks. I was heartbroken and so angry (still am if i think about it). We went and saw a different doctor in the practice (a female doc this time who was new and young). She recommended I take Sept off to let my body rest and to focus on loosing 10 lbs. Just loosing 10 lbs could help significantly with sustaining a pregnancy. I am finding out loosing weight is SUPER hard with PCOS. I have tried to cut out sugar and carbs and stick to 1800 calories a day. I was doing good and lost about 7 lbs right away, but then stopped. Uhh..super frustrating.  I need to get better at working out, I know....I am seeing the nutritionist on Tuesday. I was really looking forward to the weight loss that is suppose to come with being on Metformin, but instead I have gained weight thanks to all the meds. SUPER annoying!

So we took off the month of Sept from TTC. I did not ovulate on my own so around the end of the month I called for a RX for Provera since I was almost at the 10 lbs mark. Once this new cycle started I went in for my routine cycle day 3 ultrasound. They check lining, check for cysts, and hormone levels. And of course wouldn't you know - I have a large cyst on my left ovary. I wanted to punch the Nurse Practitioner in the face! I already had to wait out one month - now I have to wait yet ANOTHER month! FYI you cannot take fertility meds while you have a cyst. It wont work properly and you risk the cyst rupturing. This whole process has been SUPER frustrating. So we are now taking the month of October off, I am on birth control pills to make the cyst go away and we will try again at the end of the month. I did some calculations and if everything goes as planned next cycle (fingers crossed) and I get pregnant I will be due end of July and we can tell our families around Christmas time (We are waiting for around 8 weeks to tell parents next time).

We are shooting for a summer baby since I am currently in school and have the summer off. It would be a little easier, but I wont put TTC on hold if it doesnt happen. And we all know how well my plans go :)

So until the end of the month I am taking it easier and back to focusing on loosing weight. I am curious about what the nutritionist has to say.

Best Christmas ever!

This year is going to be the best Christmas ever! Michael surprised me yesterday w/ an early Christmas/anniversary present - we are going to New York City the weekend before Christmas! I have ALWAYS wanted to go up there around Christmas time. We usually go to Pa in January, but its too late to sneak up to New York. I am already planning the cheesy stuff like seeing the tree, ice skating in Central Park, and checking out the window displays. New York is one of my favorite cities in the world. I am still kicking myself for not going after an internship at a PR firm up there (I had just gotten a full time job offer down here.) I would move up there in a heart beat if one of us got a job there.

I am SUPER excited!!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

First RE Visit

In my earlier post I talked about our infertility struggle. You will see me refer to my doctor as an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) aka fertility doc. At the end of May Michael and I went to see one at one of the larger practices near where we live. The doc wasn't the most personable, but he doesnt have to be. During our first visit he asked us some questions and looked over all my records (other doc sent all testing and everything) and told me I have PCOS which basically means I do not ovulate due to insulin and blood sugar being off. The best way to combat this is to start taking Metformin and try to loose some weight. (I am not crazy over weight, but I am at my heaviest - 5'3 175lbs). So he recommended taking the month of June off from all the fertility meds and let my body adjust to the Metformin (nasty med!) and maybe my body would respond and start ovulating on my own (I have given up on this notion). So I did as told, even though I wasn't a happy camper.

If you have never been on Metformin let me tell you I hope you never have to. Its strong stuff and is not gentle on your stomach. It took my body a good 3 weeks to adjust to the meds. I still get upset stomachs and feel sick if I eat to much sugar or carbs or anything greasy. I am on two 750 extended release mg...whew! I have been on this med since the end of May, but have yet to ovulate on my own

Which sucks major big time....bc in case you didn't know you cannot get pregnant with out ovulating. All tests show my eggs are good quality and his sperm is normal, but my body just does not want to let go of those eggs.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

First trip off the fall

This fall Michael and I are traveling a lot. Our first trip was a weekend in Philly for his cousin's wedding. They had it at a really cool old bank that is now an art gallery. Really pretty, very classy and modern wedding. We all had a lot of fun. We had a BUSY weekend.

Friday morning we flew up (got bumped to first class...yeah buddy!). We were staying at the Omni near the venue (really nice hotel), went to the Reading Terminal Marketing. If you have never been there is like a giant food court, but better. There are a bunch of Amish selling very tasty food. Then that night we went to the rehearsal dinner and enjoyed time with family. (I am horrible about not taking photos...sorry!)

Friday night Michael, his mom, and I did a walking ghost tour of Philly. I like to do one in every city we visit (and every time we go to Savannah). This one was more of a story telling tour (which they normally are) but the guy was an actor, but a paranormal investigator.  But since we were staying near Independence Hall and the older parts of Philly it was pretty interesting.

Saturday was the wedding - we took it easy during the day. Just did a lot of walking around with Michael parents then got ready for the wedding. Which was beautiful and we had fun dancing and killing my feet in heels.

Sunday we threw a baby shower for our best friends. I have mentioned Mike and Jess before - we are god parents to their daughter Kylee. They have a son due in January. His name is gonna be Carter (isnt that cute!). Anyway Jess's mom and I threw them a baby shower/picnic to get them some boy stuff. I didn't think it was gonna go well, but it did and everyone seemed happy so thats all that matters to me. 

Super bummed we never made it to the Edgar Allen Poe House in Philly...next time.

Here are some photos from the wedding I stole off Facebook...again I am HORRIBLE about taking photos.





PCOS and TTC

Wow...so I havn't blogged in two months...oops! I read the blogs I follow daily, but keep forgetting to actually blog myself. Well now I have a story to tell and that story is called PCOS and infertility and what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is. Subtle much? Yeah I didnt think so. Anywho the last two months have been full of baby planning and meds. Since there are SOO many women out there struggling w/ this I thought I would share my story and thoughts and hopefully soon my successes :)

Infertility and trying to conceive (ttc) is so time consuiming and always in your head with EVERYTHING you do. Can I sign up to play softball this summer or will I get pregnant? Will I be pregnant on the next family vaca? Can I take a new job...what if it all finally works next month? These are the thoughts I deal with on an almost daily basis. Here is my story and where we are now:

Dec 2011 - went in for a yearly check up and told doc we wanted a baby. I had gone off birth control in October when we got married and still had not had a period. (I always had irregular periods, except when on birth control). Doc had me do blood work, but physically everything seemed fine.

Jan 2012 - After getting back in town from vacation (we REALLY thought we would be pregnant by this point and could tell family as a Christmas present..sadly that wasnt so). I still have not had a period since Oct and doc called and said all blood work was normal. So we went in to talk with her about now what. She told us to get some tests done (HSG and semen analysis) and in two weeks if still no period take Provera (to induce period) then start my first round of Clomid. If you are like me and Michael we had never heard of any of this stuff, but Clomid is the most common drug given to women who are ttc. It is taken for usually 5 days on certain days of your cycle and is suppose to make you ovulate. You time sex to hopefully catch that mother lovin egg. Its powerful stuff w/ LOTS of side effects...none of which are pleasant. I also started temping. Temping is taking your basal body temp every morning before you even open your eyes. Its tells you what your body is doing.

Feb - Began Clomid. Took cycle days (cd) 3-7. Had an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) on cd 8. The test consists of a doc inserting a cather into your uterus and taking xrays of your tubes and uterus to make sure there are no blockages.  Everything went smooth and looked perfect. So we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best. Doc had me do blood work 7 days post ovulation (dpo) to check and make sure I ovulated. Well sadly I never ovulated that cycle...booo...so on to Provera and on to the next cycle.

March - Cycle #2 w/ Clomid. Did 50 mg of Clomid on days 3-9 this cycle was THE WORST! My total meds were 50 mg of clomid cd 3-9, estrogen patch cd 9-12 and progesterone cream cd 12 on.  From the moment I took the meds I felt bad and anxious. I had major depression for about 2 weeks and terrible anxiety. Plus anger...I was soo bad and felt so stressed and overwhelmed. I wouldn't recommend that on anyone! Sadly again I ovulated, but barely. My progesterone level was only a 5 soo boo...no baby and on to the next round

April/May - Cycle #3 w/ Clomid - I was super nervous to do this again. After the last cycle I was scared I would have the same side effects. My doctor (still w/ my regular gyno at this point) had me do the same med combo as last cycle. Again no luck. I did ovulate, but again only at a 5 (this was mid may by this point). Super bummed...Doc said I could do one more cycle w/ her at 100 mg or go see a specialist. We opted for the specialist. While I loved my doc I knew I needed more care.

At the end of May I saw my first Reproductive Endocrinologist. I will make this another post.

Its been a LOONG Journey and sadly full of dead ends and punches in the stomach. Good thing is I know I am not alone.
So What Wednesday


I am back and linking up w/ Shannon w/ my favorite So What Wednesdays

This week I am saying so what to...

  • I catch up on my shows at work during lunch...gotta love being able to watch my shows online
  • I eat lunch at 11 - most of my co-workers come in later (around 10) and stay late, but I am now an early bird rising at 6 and eating lunch at 11 and dinner at like 6 then in bed by 10.
  • If we have been going to bed around 10...Michael gets up at 5:30 and I get up at 6 am
  • If I drink a Diet Coke a day...I love the stuff
  • I listen to Broadway musicals on Pandora during work - its up beat
  • I am SUPER excited for our weekend trip to New York around Christmas time and already planning what to do. 
  • I am done hiding our fertility struggles. I am not shouting it from the roof tops or posting stuff on Facebook, but there are so many women going through this and I hope to help them.
  • I LOVE doing my classroom observations in a kindergarten classroom and never want to leave...maybe I can be a kindergarten teacher once I am done w/ school 
  • I get a ping of jealously when I see yet another person announce their pregnancy or new baby. I am only human

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

One Year!

Today Michael and I celebrate one year of marriage! I was about to walk down the aisle at this exact time one year ago today. We had a BEAUTIFUL wedding that I am really proud of. We did a great job of planning it. Our wedding was on a Sunday (hey it saved us a LOT of money!). We got married in a local Greek Orthodox Church then had our reception at a local swim and tennis club (kinda like a country club). I was very lucky to have most of my family and Michaels family join us that day to celebrate. I am not good with being the center of attention so I tried to stay out of the lime light (which is really hard as a bride). It is the one thing I struggled w/ and wish I would of just gotten over. I was shy and you could tell by some of my photos. But thats ok.

This year went by super fast, but also it feels like we have been married forever. It feels natural for us. I could not imagine our lives any other way. We have had some struggles this year and still learning to navigate our way, but are doing it together. I look forward to what life has in store for us. I just pray its not too hard :)

Here are some photos from our perfect day!

The Church

 My Stepdad walking me down the aisle
 Our first kiss as husband and wife. You kiss before walking out the door at an Orthodox ceremony
 My flowers were BEAUTIFUL! They were all roses - dark oranges and reds. Bridesmaids had a smaller version.
 The wedding party - girls in brown dresses, burgundy shoes, and guys in burnt oranges vests w/ black tuxes
 My something blue
 One of my favorite photos
 My fav girls
 Yup - he smashed it in my face